By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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