Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
