We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
