you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize