U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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