can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
