yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
