How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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