She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
