I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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