I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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