Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
