I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize