You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
