Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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