butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
