omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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