There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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