Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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