look no pants
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
