it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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