I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
