I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
