38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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