some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
bring money and cleavage
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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