She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
