If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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