Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm both gender and math confused
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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