So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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