careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
