I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
