You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize