I CAN MOONWALK!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
