We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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