SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
