Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
