youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
