Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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