i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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