Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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