I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
