Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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