im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
