remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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