i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
