Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
