Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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