How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
His nipple licking is glorious
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