i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
