My balls are so social today.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
