he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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