porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
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