lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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