my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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