Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize