Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
