why im i the only drunk person in the library?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is wine microwaveable?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
