WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
They have beer where we have blood.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
