That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
