Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
