my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Boobs speak an international language.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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