Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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