i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
