i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
