So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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